"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands." - Psalm 143:5

Monday, September 22, 2014

Tugged

 

tugged1

I seriously doubt my leadership ability at times and wonder about how uninspiring my message can seem. Strange… isn’t that a pastor’s job? To be inspiring and lead a great charge across the landscape of the enemy, winning the battle and the day?

Perhaps not…

I fret, pray, dream, sweat and lay awake at nights just pondering the effectiveness of my life and the impact it has on others. I dive into Scripture, talk to men far wiser than I and wrestle with questions like a cage fighter on steroids.

My heart seems in a perpetual state of being tugged.

That’s the haunting reality of being a visionary…pulled in one direction…tugged in another. Trying your best to submit to Father God’s leading at one moment…possibly running away in the next. We visionaries can be a chore to understand and deal with, we often see things that are…well, not there…yet. Which means we may get annoyed that others aren’t as excited about something that seems so real to us but may be as faint as a mirage to them.

This is where faith needs to step in…and helps me understand the tug.

“To the best of my understanding, faith is trusting God enough to obey what He has said, and hope is having the confidence that God will do everything He has promised. One pushes you; the other pulls you.” Erwin McManus

This push me, pull me, tugging sensation is the tension of following Christ, abandoning my selfish desires and pursuing His and His alone. It’s the leading of the Holy Spirit, placing us, positing us and aligning our will with the Father’s. What we see…or don’t see is not as important as what we know.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

That’s the substance that a visionary like me needs…how’ll about you? Where has faith tugged you lately?

 

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Monday, September 8, 2014

I Go to the Water


I go to the water 
Waves lapping 
Shore defining 
The water comes to me 
(c) 2014 Jay Cookingham 


When I need a Sabbath, I try to go to the water and today I am down by the Hudson River.

I need rest for a weary soul.

So I steal a few hours from a schedule thick of life, responsibilities and things to do. I drink in the power of the river and I ponder the Psalms...
He opened the rock, and water gushed out; it flowed through the desert like a river. Psalm 105:41
Restless like the river, I move to a few secluded spots I know, hoping to find the one that fits. I do and silence fills the gaps with peace. Then I notice my thirst.

You can can get a little dry when you pour out so much but the truth is that often it is our choices that make ourselves arid and parched.

So I pray...

Father...open the rock that is my heart and flood the desert with your life giving water. Drench me, saturate me and leave me wet with your presence. This and this alone bring me back to life... and I thank you for your current of love that flows through my heart.
Amen