Mom Went Home



This story is a bit hard but there is a point, please hang in there until the end. - Jay

When Juanita Elizabeth Beesmier married Frederick Cookingham some 70 plus years ago, she may have thought life was going to be good. She may have been filled with the same hope and dreams that many brides have when they start the marriage journey. I don’t know because my mom never shared about those heart matters with anyone. In retrospect marrying my father was a huge mistake; her life became an emotional prison of fear and pain.

I have shared stories of the abuse I endure from the hand of my dad (here) but I believe my mom suffered worst treatment form him. My dad was extremely jealous of the affections mom would show her kids, so much so he forbid any signs of fondness between us. To break that law meant misery for all of us but mom would take the brunt of it all. Dad’s cruelty finally forced my mom into a childlike state and she ceased to grow as a human being. My father had no only vacated his dad responsibility but he stolen my mom from me as well. Her home had become a harsh and lonely cell and she was powerless to change it.

My most vivid memory of mom comes from her long hospital stay due to emphysema. It was apparent she was not leaving the hospital alive and every visit saw her frail frame weaken more and more. There was one topic that would brighten her right up and that was the birth of my first child, due any day. She was so excited about meeting the little one and she did her best to hang on to see her youngest son have his first child. One day my mom went into cardiac arrest and nearly passed away. As she lay still and motionless on her hospital bed I told her again about Jesus and the love of the Father. When I asked if she wanted Christ in her heart, she signed yes by squeezing my hand threes times. My mom was now a follower of Jesus.

Late in the evening on March 2, 1989 I received a call from the hospital that my mom had passed away. Just five days later I attended her wake just hours after my first child (Joshua) was born. My son had entered the world and I was overjoyed and even though it was difficult to attend the wake for my mom, it also was a relief.

My mom was now living like never before, she had a home like never before and she had a Savior who would love on her for all eternity! For me, it’s all good…I have a mom waiting for me but it is so wonderful knowing how free she is.

Mom went home…Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

“A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all.” ~Washington Irving

“Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, extend to the skies, and Your faithfulness to the clouds.” Psalm 36: 5


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bill (cycleguy) said…
Thanks for this Jay. I missed the other one you mention and went to read it. While my mom, nor I, nor my 3 sibling brothers suffered physical abuse from my father, his absence was palpable. She endured affair after affair and stayed for two reasons: 1) her sons; and 2) her faith (she was not to divorce). after 25 years, he walked out. he has been AWOL ever since, except for an occasional foray into grandfatherhood or when he needed money. I was blessed with a terrific father-in-law who became more of a father to me than mine ever was. I honor my mom for her faith and love. She went to be with Jesus in March of 2004 after a short fight with cancer. I miss her but know I will see her again. Thanks for the thoughts my friend.
Jay Cookingham said…
Bill, thanks for sharing part of your story...your Mom sounds like a wonderful person. Bless you bro'
Moe said…
This is beautiful Jay. The power of the resurrection and the hope that Christ gives us is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I know it was hard.
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Moe, it was and I'm grateful to God for His love towards my Mom.
jasonS said…
We can suffer so much in this life, but it has to come to an end one day. So thankful for Jesus and what He's done for us. Thank you, Jay. Powerful story.
Jay Cookingham said…
Indeed my brother...I'm so thankful as well! Thanks Jason!
seekingpastor said…
Beutifully powerful/powerfully beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Matt...I appreciate that!

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