The House-Band


music81 A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

The title of my post is not referring to a group of musicians who regularly play at your local bar and grill…although there may be a connection. One ancient meaning for the word “husband” was "the house-band"; a wonderful picture of connecting and keeping together the family. The harmony of marriage plays distinctive tone within a family and I believe my role as “house-band” helps everyone learn their part. My home is the place I play my best music, the surround sound of the songs I sing should deepen the relationships of my wife and children. Night after night the refrain needs to be the same…reminding them of my love and commitment to them.

When I put my children’s needs first…I sing a song.

When I lay my life down for my wife…I sing a song

When I faithfully guard my marriage…I sing a song

The songs connect, the songs unite, and the songs encourage and lift. The singing is a melody of strength when each family member is given room to lift their voice. A strong house-band assures that their voice gets heard and valued. My words, actions, prayers and sacrifices help keep the tempo of family growth steady.

Brothers, you have the count the measures, you can’t forget the words of marriage (the vows), the music you make together with your wife. Here the house-band has to play the loudest, drowning out all other tunes. This is the beautiful part of our strength as men…the ability to hold it together, to hold that note of love as long as God gives us breath.

Father God is the conductor, the maestro of the songs inside us. He orchestrates a man and a woman in the stanzas of married life to produce future life…in and through them. The chords, the downbeats, the riffs, and the rhythm of marriage need a strong lead vocalist…thankfully, He gives us voice to be (and become) a strong house-band.

“GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don't cheat on your spouse.” Mal 2:15 The Message

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Joanne Norton said…
Beautiful.  Would love to say more, express more, b/c I'm a "wordy" person.  But the truth is just what I said:  Beautiful. 
bill (cycleguy) said…
Love the thought expressed in  this post Jay.  I can't say I have ever thought of the "house-band" idea.  But posts like this also make me sad...why did I not know this      while my children were at home and growing up?  Love that you practice what you preach. 
Tony J. Alicea said…
I love the creativity you used in this. My passion is for marriages so you know this resonated with me!
Jay Cookingham said…
Sorry I bummed you out Bill, but I know that the difference you are making in your family now is huge and honors the Father. The heritage you have planted is rich with love. For me, I am striving to sing the right songs is always a challenge and I am by no means...perfect.
Appreciate you honesty bro'...and you.
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Joanne...I think I'm a "wordy" person also!
Jay Cookingham said…
I know you heart Tony, more importantly, so does the Father. And it excites Him to know one of His sons "GETS IT" and honors the covenant of marriage. Bless ya bro'
Dusty Rayburn said…
I have learned something new today... I did no know about House-Band... Great perspective!
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Dusty...appreciate ya!
jasonS said…
Jay, becoming a proficient musician is hard work and that correlates well with being a husband and father. Also thinking about the ability to flow with the music spontaneously, it's a great asset in musicians and families. Great analogy! Thanks.
Jay Cookingham said…
Being a great musician (and a great house-band) yourself, I figured you might appreciate the analogy Jason. Thanks Bro' 

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