"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands." - Psalm 143:5

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Accidental Guest


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I was recently an "accidental" guest on a video podcast hosted by Dr. Vibe (see here). I was watching online because I'm due to be interviewed by Dr.Vibe this coming Friday and I wanted to check the show out. As I was listening I got invited into the conversation (around the 20 minute mark) about "Men and Power, can they handle it?". I had a blast and was honored that these men allowed me to put some of my thoughts into a fascinating topic.

The surprise invitation made me realize how important it is to be ready to tell your story of redemption...the story of how you came into the greatest story there is.

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:15

It's amazing how Father God used this "accidental" invite as an opportunity for His name to be gloried and for people to hear the message of hope. For this I am thankful, humbled and reminded to be prepared.

Anyways, if you have an hour plus to kill, check this show out and let me know what you think....bless you all!


Thursday, September 3, 2015

From Problem Child To Pastor



This week I was honored to be interview (online) by Rodney Kellum from fatherpreneurship.com. Rodney is a new friend of mine who has a huge heart to see people set free and was kind enough to give me time to tell part of my story of freedom. If you have some time (it's about 45 minutes) and you don't mind the glare of my bald head (also I move around so much you  would think the chair I was sitting on was on fire) you'll get a deeper peek into how God rescued me from the darkness of abuse. Also check out Rodney's site, it's full of great content and he's an awesome dude!

Here's the link to the interview....


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Monday, August 10, 2015

What love is


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Hang with me today…this will be tough story at the beginning…

This was going to be easy, the knife was sharp and I was all alone deep in the woods, no one would find me for days. My time had run out and I couldn’t fight back anymore.

I was tired, so tired of being without… without having the right clothes, the right looks, the right friends, the right family and the right to be happy. So I filled my emptiness with the self-medicating drugs of the day, each drink, each toke a reminder of what a loser I was. I was looking for numbness and all I got was a double shot of awareness.

I was a deadman walking

My commitment to Christ at age seven seemed so distant to the heart that sat on rock waiting to for a blade to bleed out its life. The wondering of “where were you God” had long past me by, like a far-off dream tugging on my sleeve but easily ignored.

I drew the knife from its sheath, the chill of the blade giving me Goosebumps, and went to make the first cut…before I could; I heard a voice… it said…


It was as if the whole universe shook; my universe anyway, with the power that only a Messiah can speak with. I stood, my head spinning around like a crazy man, looking for someone…anyone…because I thought no one was watching.

He was…Messiah was

That seventeen-year-old started a new journey that day, it wasn’t easy but he faced the abuse, the mistakes, the false identity and the true enemy with renewed faith. For years after my suicide attempt, I thought “Wow, I should be dead”…how wrong I was. The truth was that I should be alive… for that is what Messiah wanted for me… life.

After all…This is love and 1 John 4:10 reminds us….

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
1 John 4:10

You are loved by a God who pursues you with a relentless love!


Friday, July 10, 2015

Core Mission

One of my core missions in life is to encourage men and help them see the Father as I have come to know Him. This mission is a passion of mine and I love sharing the message of sonship wherever I can, conferences, men's groups, social media and even better, one-on-one over some really great coffee. To be used by the Father this way is powerfully rewarding and equally as humbling.

Sometimes you get instant feedback, men sharing what God has done by revealing who He is to them, those are precious moments and ones I'm grateful for. However, most of the time you give/share/reveal and pray that men see the Father and the love He has for them...and you wonder...did your words have any impact.

For a guy who loves feedback and visible indicators that something I shared from Father's heart made a difference in your life, not hearing feedback can discourage my heart. I have learned (almost) that you never know the how far the reach, the influence and the sway you have when you yield your life to Him.

But...every once and a while, Father gives you a peek.

A year ago I commented on an excellent post by Morgan Snyder called Stranded with Flip Flops – A Case for a Generalist (you can read it here)

Below is my comment in case you don't have time to click and read Morgan's post (although I think you'll be blessed and will put my musing in context)

Such a powerful post and I loved it, the images of this mountain man coming to the rescue is inspiring. I do have some other thoughts and I believe they fit.
I consider myself a "generalist" a "jack of all trades" type of guy. Yet, I don't hunt, my home repair skills are suspect and if I judge myself against a list of "manly things" I may not qualify for a mancard anymore. At least that's what my dad thought...and for years I suffered from that failure to live up to his version of manhood. 
Thankfully Father God changed all that. He alone defines my masculinity and it is OK not to be good at any of those things...it really is. I don't feel castrated because I can't fix something or track down a wild animal in the deep woods. No, I a man because the Father says so...because He made me a son.
My older brother is one of the toughest men I know. An ex-Marine, can build anything, can hunt down (and has) anything, knows every construction tool and its use...but has two failed marriages and left a minefield of busted relationships along the way. 
Men are not defined but what they can and cannot do...they are defined by their Father and what He says about them. I am reminded about something my wife wrote about a few years ago. I was clearing out some old paperwork and came across a letter that my she wrote to honor me on one of my birthdays. I won’t bore you with the whole letter but there was this one section that grabbed me by the throat. (BTW…it still does) 
“Some men build massive skyscrapers, awesome bridges, complex computers, things which can be destroyed. My man builds lives.” 
His life, His power, His Spirit…through us…brings life. This is the rescue mission I am sent on everyday. Anyways, just a few thoughts from a 57 year-old father of seven, who has been married for 31 years and following Christ for 50...and who is still in process of becoming more like a son every day! God Bless ya!
Yesterday sitting in my church office I received an instant message from someone I didn't know inquiring about something I wrote. After some investigation and a few more text messages I found the above comment and forwarded to this brother, asking if this was what he was talking about...here is his reply:

"Men are not defined but what they can and cannot do...they are defined by their Father and what He says about them." THIS is what changed my life!! 

My heart was overwhelmed with thankfulness to my Father, that He spoke so clearly to this man's heart and impacted him so deeply. I share this to encourage you that your story matters, how the Father rescued you matters, spread this message whenever you can and wherever you go...you never know how Father will use what He has done in you!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


I am sharing a movie my son Joshua made on Lamentations 3. One of his favorite passages in Scriptures.
There's a powerful message in this...I hope it ministers to you.

Friday, June 5, 2015

What Life Does

Its funny what life does to a man’s heart, the twists and turns of living on this planet places you in jeopardy by asking a simple question.

Why am I here?

The answer—not simple at all—challenges me on a daily basis, causing moments of deep panic because I have no response and then intoxicating me with thrilling moments when I “get” the intent of the question.

The question is an invitation

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Following Messiah helps me with the “why am I here” question and the light of life He provides helps me see where I must invest my heart, changing the question into a proclamation.

Here’s why I’m here

For 33 years (55.93% of my life) I have walked with the most captivating heart I have ever known, my wife Christine. The God ordained, planned rescue of my heart involves being one with my bride, and learning how to love her as Christ loved the church.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”-Mignon McLaughlin

Our marriage being the message, the song, the declaration that covenant love flows through us from Father’s heart. An anniversary celebration is only a momentary display of what a daily life of covenant love produces… the ability to fall in love over and over.

What life does then is stretch me to uncomfortable and seemingly impossible limits and present opportunities of giving myself away. Each stretch offers me a life moment, a window, a gift of time, allowing me to devote my heart to my bride, making us more one than the moment before.

I am here to love this precious heart… that’s what life does.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

The Big Question

I've share my testimony in blog posts, sermons, men's events and one-on-one counseling sessions... it is time for something new.

At the encouragement of my wife and much prayer, I started a new writing project. "My Story of Freedom: Forgiveness and Letting Go" is the story/testimony of how God transformed my life. How does one recover from growing up in an abusive home? This book will chronicle all the life events that Father God used to set me free and help answer that question.

And it's a big question.

Approximately 1.8 million adolescents in the United States have been the victims of sexual assault. These are the reported or discovered ones... each number a person... each one a story of pain. I see such overwhelming stats my heart spins and I wonder if my story will make a difference in theirs. Perhaps if I was a famous athlete, actor, rock star, or politician, my reach would go further... impact more.

But because I am free... I must share His work of freedom.
"God's work is freedom. Freedom is dear to his heart. He wishes to make man's will free, and at the same time wishes it to be pure, majestic, and holy." - E. H. CHAPIN, Living Words
The cover is a pre-design to just keep me motivated. Please pray for me as I work hard to complete this project and hopefully help others with my story!

I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Psalm 119:32 (NIV)