Actually, I don't really know why...something strange is happening to me. It seems that I can't get through a sermon without choking back tears and fighting for composure. These deeply emotional moments come (seemly) randomly and when I least expect it...then I feel undone...almost unable to continue at times.
Here's another thing...it happens when I'm sermon prepping and not even at the same spot in my notes as when I'm speaking a few days layer. My family will tell you that I'm not a crier, that is takes a lot to make me cry...so why the sudden influx of tear-duct activity? I wonder...am I losing it? Or maybe...just maybe, my heart is not yet "new" enough.
"I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart."Jeremiah 24:7
"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Ezekiel 36:26
The process of receiving a new heart is more than a transplant of values, it is a radical new way to live. It's a heart that beats with a rhythm of surrender, responding in the only way that brings life. I cry because the Holy Spirit is moving in such a way that it breaks up stony, hard places and brings life up to spill all over the people around me. I marvel at such love and I ask...I pray...I cry for more.
So...Why do I cry at my own sermons?
Because He makes all things new...even my heart.