"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands." - Psalm 143:5

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What am I Doing Here?

 

MP900430553 God often takes a course for accomplishing His purposes directly contrary to what our narrow views would prescribe. He brings a death upon our feelings, wishes, and prospects when He is about to give us the desire of our hearts.
- John Newton

The question above represents weeks of deep reflection and intense battle (is there any other kind?). The conflict surrounding my family right now seems unrelated to that question, yet…I wonder.

I can’t share with you right now what that struggle is (possibly on the other side) but I can share this. This battle is not about my marriage, my kids or my health (although all those elements of my life have been challenged during this time). This particular conflict is a huge threat and it saps my energy some days and makes me angry at the enemy on most days. However, this post is not really about struggle…back to the question.

What am I doing here?

The Father first posed this question when I was laid up with a hurt foot a few weeks ago. (It’s much better, thank you). He was using this question to stir me up, to mess with me a bit. I have to admit; I strained for an answer…one I hoped that at least “sounded” spiritual! What I found out during this reflection is that I was tired, not physically but tired of the status quo-ness that had crept into my spirit. I saw that I was allowing a small picture of God to ruin my view on life and my walk with Him.

Honestly, I didn’t want God to deal with me on this; after all…I was in a battle…a fight that was occupying all my attention. Shouldn’t He be concentrating on a way out for me?

What am I doing here?

God’s answer next time…

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