Spaghetti Western Matinee

 

 

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When I write a post, I have always tried to be as transparent as I can be. I make no pretense that although I try to be a wonderful husband, a great father and terrific brother…the truth is that I am so far away from those ideal settings. I want to share my victories and my defeats openly…maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes.

There are moments full of The Good, Bad and the Ugly; times where I beg God for a Fistful of Dollars…should I mention the Day of Anger?

My son Matt (20) and I were the Ugly Ones last night. What started out as a conversation boiled over to an argument…then escalated to a yell fest. I had provoked my son to anger…and it got ugly really fast. Blows were threatened; name and insults were hurled like six shooters blasting away.

It was a Fistful of Dynamite waiting to explode our relationship…but thankfully it didn’t. We grabbed each other, held tight and tripped over each other asking for forgiveness. Through tears, laughter and great pain we struggled back to an even keel…it was hard…but it was good.

Our shootout was felt throughout the house, disturbing the peace and the emotions of the rest of the family. We both had a lot of work throughout the night, until the early morning, restoring relationships with those we love. Some still need time to process. My youngest son Isaac gave me the theme for this post when he said (after hearing his father and older brother go at it from the upstairs living room)

“Sounds like the lines from a really bad western down there”

And it did…

I feel like I was thrown from a horse…and the horse ran off. This cowboy needs a break…I need time to reflect and ponder some deep questions of my heart. Fathers should be the best memory makers…I am not proud of the one I made last night.

God restores…God remakes and He is so faithful…this I know.

I’ll see you soon….God bless. Jay

 

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Comments

jasonS said…
Thank you for that honesty, Jay. That transparency helps all of us to be open and honest as well. I'm so glad God uses our frailties and even poor choices to somehow show His glory in the midst of it. Blessings to you, friend.
Martha Orlando said…
Your honesty here is like a breath of fresh air, Jay! As Christians, especially when we post blogs, we are often loathe to show our frailties and weaknesses, thinking that others might be turned off or think, "Look at that jerk! Why should I want to be a Christian if that's how he/she acts!" I'm glad you had the courage to reveal that we, as Christians, aren't perfect, but that forgiveness of ourselves and each other is key in our lives.
Blessings to you!
Michael said…
Sounds like a resounding win to me for both you and Matt, Jay. Stumble we do and stumblers we are. By the Spirit, you two cowpokes dusted yourselves off and got back on the stallion of life. Love never fails!
Bill (cycleguy) said…
Sounds like real (reel) life Jay. sort of like "who is that masked man?" So glad you ripped that mask of and were real to us, to your son (in your forgiveness) and to your family is fixing things. I can watch that type of movie all night.
floyd said…
We're all humans, Jay. I know you know that obviously, but there is healing in humility. We're struggling with our youngest right now... It's a heart breaker, but we strive toward our Father's will. Praying for you, brother.
Jay Cookingham said…
Appreciate the prayers bro'. It's all good, Matt is a great young man...it was me that provoked the showdown. After the tussle, our relationship was still good. Praying for you as well.
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks for the "review" my brother. God is so very good to allow me to saddle up again and mend the fences!
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Martha for being kind...I seldom lose my temper but it was a wild ride that night! Glad the Father got a hold of my heart before damage was done.
Jay Cookingham said…
Thanks Jason...transparency is crucial for me...I so want integrity to infuse every part of my life...online and offline!
TCAvey said…
I have a tendency to spout off. Being quick to listen and slow to speak is not my strong point. Thank God for His grace and for teaching me to stop eating my feet! I'm a slow learner, but I'm getting better (sort of).

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