When I write a post, I have always tried to be as transparent as I can be. I make no pretense that although I try to be a wonderful husband, a great father and terrific brother…the truth is that I am so far away from those ideal settings. I want to share my victories and my defeats openly…maybe you’ll learn from my mistakes.
There are moments full of The Good, Bad and the Ugly; times where I beg God for a Fistful of Dollars…should I mention the Day of Anger?
My son Matt (20) and I were the Ugly Ones last night. What started out as a conversation boiled over to an argument…then escalated to a yell fest. I had provoked my son to anger…and it got ugly really fast. Blows were threatened; name and insults were hurled like six shooters blasting away.
It was a Fistful of Dynamite waiting to explode our relationship…but thankfully it didn’t. We grabbed each other, held tight and tripped over each other asking for forgiveness. Through tears, laughter and great pain we struggled back to an even keel…it was hard…but it was good.
Our shootout was felt throughout the house, disturbing the peace and the emotions of the rest of the family. We both had a lot of work throughout the night, until the early morning, restoring relationships with those we love. Some still need time to process. My youngest son Isaac gave me the theme for this post when he said (after hearing his father and older brother go at it from the upstairs living room)
“Sounds like the lines from a really bad western down there”
And it did…
I feel like I was thrown from a horse…and the horse ran off. This cowboy needs a break…I need time to reflect and ponder some deep questions of my heart. Fathers should be the best memory makers…I am not proud of the one I made last night.
God restores…God remakes and He is so faithful…this I know.
I’ll see you soon….God bless. Jay