"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands." - Psalm 143:5

Friday, June 18, 2010

Life is an Memorial

I am the father of seven wonderful kids, they have shaped the father I am today. Each one of them has stretched my faith and filled me with joy. What many of you reading this may not know is that I have two other kids, Hope and Samuel, they just don’t live with us…they live with their heavenly Father in heaven.

hope  Today’s post is about Hope…in all it’s facets. I’m including
   my notes from an memorial service we held for baby Hope,
   a child my wife lost in a miscarriage in 1995. Prior to losing 
  her my wife had perfect pregnancies and deliveries…we
  were shocked and devastated. It was an hard time but God used it and I’m a stronger dad today because of it. So, I’m continuing my theme on fathering and I’m really not trying to be downer, I just feel it’s important to share. Blessings, Jay

“Also in the day of your gladness, and in your solemn days, and in the beginnings of your months, ye shall blow with the trumpets over your burnt offerings, and over the sacrifices of your peace offerings; that they may be to you for a memorial before your God: I am the LORD your God.” Numbers10:10

“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127.3

Life is an Memorial - 1995

More than marking a loss today, we chose instead to celebrate life. For no matter how brief, life is a cherished gift. We also chose to embrace all of what God offers for us to walk through, understanding that His ways are not our own, and His purposes go beyond what we comprehend. We acknowledge the purity of His plan for us and welcome the grace He gives to endure the sorrow of this time of our lives.

When a child enters your life, it is a cause for celebration, a time to rejoice that should not be measured by the passage of time but rather by the goodness of God’s sovereignty.

We were excited about all the possibilities that a new child would add to our family, the flavor that would be blended with the rest of us. We anticipated the faithfulness of the Lord in preparation and provision for this blessing, knowing that He had chosen us for something special in the gift of our child. Then, without any indication of something wrong, we lost the baby...and for awhile our perspective. Did we do something? What could we have done differently? Those and much deeper questions ran through the corridors of our minds, and we wondered about the faithfulness of the Lord.

Through the gloom, one thing became increasing clear, the need to celebrate the gift of a child and in the faithfulness of Jesus, despite the full understanding of the loss of life. We weren’t able to hold this little one, but we will, someday. There won’t be any full baby books, but our hearts will be full knowing Baby Hope is with Him. That is what this time is all about, setting a memorial before God, knowing all our lives are in His hands and His hands alone. We thank you all, friends and family, who have chosen to be with us today and throughout this ordeal. Thank you for allowing us time to mourn and for giving of your time to support and pray, for this is difficult to walk through. As a father, I have been undone by this, my response has been at times victorious and at other times less so.

I am comforted by the fact that God is not threatened by my inability to be at peace at all times. As I embrace the fullness of Him, peace comes. Do I forget...no, should I forget...no, but peace comes. God’s peace is not hindered by our tears, nor by the numbness of our heart when it grows weary of feeling the pain of loss. It is the perfect peace, a healing peace, a permeating force that put us securely in the arms of our Lord. Thank you Jesus.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3

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