Dear God – A Letter from My Past
“God’s love is relentless in its determination that we be cured of our sins, at whatever the cost to us or to Him.” - C.S. Lewis
Inspired from a few new blogger friends (Moe and Dustin) who wrote a letter to their past selves I decide to do the same…well, that was my idea anyway. Until I came across an old letter from me (when I was 30) to God and I knew that I had to post it. So, it’s kinda like a letter from me to the present me (which would’ve been the future me then…but you get the idea). Yes, I know it’s addressed to God but does He really need a letter to know what I’m thinking? No, it sent a message to where I am today. The cool thing is that I read this a few days before I gave a sermon on Crazy Love (listen here) and it reminded me of God’s relentless love.
I was thirty, a young husband of 4 years and not yet a father…Dear God, I see the danger of growing older. The newness of life can quickly rub off without one noticing. The newness o f the life you gave can become in our mind…common place and taken for granted. I guess that’s what you meant by being a child to enter your Kingdom. 30 years is not old by any means, yet I’m not sure if my faith in you is mature or just old. Praying is very difficult lately and so is reading your Word. Not because I believe less but the burning desire to know you seems to come and go with no real pattern. Remember the nights I prayed to you for protection from my dad…and yet the attacks continued? I never understood why you chose to deny those prayers but my desire to know never seemed to wane during those days. Is there no need? No, there is always need of you. I do have this inner trembling because of the place I chosen to stand. I fear you and what your power can do to me. Yet, you know I still don’t doubt (at least seriously) your great love for me.
Father God, lead me into your hands. I’m still a little boy searching for manhood. I laugh nervously at the life that surrounds me. A honest to goodness false bravado. What tremendous grace that allows me to question your authority with my silence. This 30 year old has a lot of growing up to do. This little boy needs a teacher…thanks for the love. Love, your son…Jay
I read this and was moved by the heart of that young man, although he spoke of being cold I sensed passion beneath the surface. A relentless God was pursuing me and that pursuit is still going on today. Father God is still hungry for my heart!
So, what is my response to a relentless God?
It’s not about doing more good stuff…working harder at being extra good. It’s all about being His. What is the 1st commandment? (You shall not have any other Gods before me) This means that God is more than just number 1 on a list…it means there are no other contenders for that spot…ever!
How do we go about being more….His?
By surrendering those parts of "us" that are not in love with Him totally.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30
Every part of our humanness is addressed isn’t it?
The good news here is that all these parts were designed to love God. It a multifaceted way to love Him, it’s loving Him on all the levels of our life. What we take in, what we give out…every part of us is packaged to love Him. Every part of our being can express the fullness of our affection for God.
My goal is become a man who is madly in love with God…all the time.
Will you join me?